Today, we’ll be talking about weaponry. Weapons are the only thing between you and a zombie. Today, we’ll see what weapons to use and what weapons not to use. First off, basic melee weapons work nicely. Things like wrenches or pipes are fine for a little while, but you’ll need something better than basic tools to really survive and thrive. Melee is good because it’s silent, deadly and it can have multiple uses. Shovels, bats and hammers work well because they’re relatively light and are powerful enough to kill effectively. Another tip that will save your life is that you must destroy the brain! It’s the only way the zombies can be truly killed. Other melee weapons like golf clubs=certain death. They’re flimsy when hitting a skull and will break when you need it not to. Another thing would be if you used some sort of projectile based weapon like say a gun or crossbow, go crossbow. While not good for a horde, it’s quiet and accurate which is what you need if you’re scavenging. Guns are loud, can jam and are overall dangerous. Things not to use would be the Hollywood glorified chainsaw, because it 1) runs on gas (which will run out), 2) its loud and 3) heavy and not too effective. Hollywood has revered the chainsaw as the ultimate zombie killing machine but alas it is not. Guns are useful for distractions or for hordes but nothing else. Melee weapons are the way to go when fighting zombies.
I completely agree with you, guns make too much noise and will attract zombies, and chainsaws would not destroy the brain and will run out on gas. The melee weapon is the way to go, and I love the humor effect you added into the article. I do think you spend a lot of time on this subject and thats cool if thats what you like. No just kidding but well thought out, good, funny, and solid article. I liked it a lot!
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